June 25 - July 13 2013!
"Progress and standing-still"
A confusing time, in some ways !
While I stil suffer heavily regarding bladder - cramps, pain and all those symptomes, still vomiting 8 - 12 times a day, still suffers a lot from many symptomes that still makes it impossible to do much "more" - Obvisouly still a lot of Things "standing still"
My general painsituation is still "going Down"
That is a very funny experience - really!
As I have for decades been completely crouched in pain, it is strange to suddenly feel my muscles actually FIT the length of, for example, my arms and legs!
No kidding here - it is really a funny experience ! ;-)
They have been so crippled with pain that it's a weird feeling now that they fit, propotionelt!
I can stand upright without having to force the body to stretch it out completely.
My back is still lowering cronic spinalcramps, meaning the back changes !
Pain has forced my muscles to contract for decades - all over the body !
- my joints are still serious problems - missing mostly cartilage in the body.
Not a healthy state !!!
- so most part, be it throughout the back, fingers, collarbone, neck especially, jaw joints and so all the tiny attachments between bones, muscles and tendons - well ....
HBO has certainly strengthened a lot, but while the body feels stronger at many points, it does not mean I can do more - yet!
There is no doubt that my body is very busy getting stronger but it takes time to heal such very old, very serious injuries and symptoms - if I had had a few diagnosis, few symptoms , recent injuries - but now my injuries / illnesses are very old, very deep, serious damage - it takes longer!
So it is a heavy task the HBO is on here, and i must say - it is doing a great job !
I need to adjust - to still be very patient !
It can be a challenge, before the limits vere easily found - now the limits has moved a little - so I have to be carefull NOT to overdo anything!
It is still very easy to provocate the spinealdamage and have cramps and bleedings !
- I have them now and then - and I am surpriced how I survived having them so heavily and severe for so many years !!!!
What a difference !
I still have to force my breathing, that place in my spine still is extreme ! I still have serious problems tollerating almost any fod and drinks (strong reactions - vomiting- bleedings! )
- I still have problems beeing with many people without having fever/infections so still serious in many ways ...but again;
what a difference !
I am clearly "in-between" - meaning frustration can come -where the limit has moved, but the strength to do more still isnt quite there yet !
But the need, the wanting to do things i havnt done for many many years - normal things others dont evne think about I still cant!
Anyway - I am still extremely positve and gratefull and very humble to this hole HBO-thing that really really still is doing such a wonderfull job not just saving my life, but also slowly is making me stronger !